Canada Grabs Gold at Bali!

In yo face Quasimodo! The Liberal unleader is quaking in his pointy frogophone boots because the results are in and Canada's Conservatives have cleaned-up big time at the Bali Climate Change competition. Canada tied for first in the Climate Action Network's final fossil medal count with the US, despite having only 1/10th the population of our southern kissin' cousins.

And Canada really deserved to take the whole cake because we had four first place Golden Dinosaur awards, more than any of the other 180 countries participating at Bali. Of course those of us who hail from Alberta are not surprised at Canada's proud showing because dinosaurs are in our blood -- both our oil and tourist industries are fueled by fossils.

Canada has held its head high again on the international stage in Bali and I've given those liberal losers a bloody nose. Sure some frogophone carpers and crapules have tried to belittle our stellar performance at Bali but I know Bairdy did a heckova job.

First and foremost he managed to keep the main Bali agreement text from degenerating into a cacophony of meaningless he said 25%, she said 40% targets. By tying Bali to specific numbers today we would be prejudging the negotiations of tomorrow with the statistics of yesterday. Now we have another two years to hammer the final accord into proper shape and incorporate the important advances in climate change science sponsored by the good corporate citizens in the petroleum industry.

Now admittedly some inconvenient targets did get slipped into the Kyoto group side agreement at the last minute but all is not lost. Most importantly, George doesn't care because the US is not part of Kyoto so the side agreement doesn't bind them to anything. But the kicker is that because we've declared Kyoto legally dead in Canada with Quasimodo's acquiescence (and because Bairdy had his fingers crossed behind his back) these tyrannical targets don't apply to Canada either. Game, set and match, Quasimodo!

I called Bairdy to thank him for all his hard work in Bali and was amazed that he'd been able to achieve all this success without even showing up at some of the key sessions. This guy is one lean mean negotiatin' machine and a wild party animal to boot.

Watch out world, Canada's on a roll -- and we're peaking just in time for the 2010 Winter Olympics. Let's all pray for snow and hope that they don't get canceled because of warm weather.

God bless the world beating New Government of Canada.