Saturday, October 13, 2007

Grit your teeth Quasimodo and eat your shit with a manly smile

Politics is usually a fun game but it's just too easy when your opponents are professional village idiots like Bloc Cheesehead, prancing neanderthals like the Moustache that Roared or especially dumbass deer caught in the headlights like Liberal Quasimodo. These three don't have enough brain cells between them to line the bottom of a bird cage. It's like tricking Wiley Coyote, knowing he'll walk into the trap every time takes the fun out of it.

The latest cliff they obligingly walked over with legs flailing is my tory-blue ribbon Manly Afghan commission. This thing kills about twelve birds with one stone: reminds people that the Liberals got us into Kandahar, pulls the red carpet out from under any Afghanistan debates for three months, provides me with teflon coating in case any more vandoos bite le biscuit, makes extending the mission seem non-partisan -- especially after its report supports my position for finishing the job, wink-wink, leaves Quasimodo droolingly slack-jawed, and, most importantly, locks and loads us for our next shot at majority.

Don't think I would have let this johnny on the spot without making sure he was onside with more combat troops. Let's call Manley a recovering Liberal after he chaired the US Council on Foreign Relations task force which recommended North American economic and social union as he was cheered on by his CFR buddies Wolfowitz, Cheney and Irving Kristol.

Even if he manly decides to doublecross me, the majority of the the panel are tried and true tory yes-men who can be counted on to vote their consciences as I dictate. And don't even get me started on hair-flipping Wallin, She's just so excited to be playing with the big boys that she'd vote to send Mansbridge to the electric chair if I hinted it was a good idea. Or at least the ex-Mrs-Mansbridge Mesley - she really has the hates for that neo-hip limousine-left poser.

And now Quasimodo's surrender-monkeys have sprung into action - they've already admitted defeat on the throne speech and now they're trying to smother the manly panel news by offering BIGGER corporate tax cuts, What The Fucking Fuck, pardon my french. Is Quasimodo really trying to outflank me on the right? -- he must have had too much laughing gas.

The pre-election panic is palpable everywhere - the Moustache that Roared has his leather pants on so tight that he's started parroting our line that Quasimodo is not a leader. The socialistas even copied our "what me a dumbshit?" picture of Quasimodo to use on their website.

Oh how the flaky have fallen - right into my trap for bid brains. The so-called opposition has commenced collective suicide on my command. Divide and Rule rulez!

God bless the New Majority Government of Canada.

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